You will be glad to know that serious research on the importance of touch has been done. It was discovered that the amount of skin-to-skin contact you have plays a crucial role in your happiness and vitality at all ages of your life. Touching actually has a direct bearing on your ability to form close relationships, deal with stress and pain, and to fight off disease.
Did you know Americans have the lowest physical touch frequency of any country in the world? When Americans hug, we pat each other on the back three times which appears to represent three words, "I'm done now"! America is starved for meaningful touch. I grant you people have been touched inappropriately but the political pendulum has swung too far in the other direction. Vulnerable young girls desperately craving physical touch may end up with unwanted pregnancies. They may have such skin hunger that they were not able to control it, and consequently it affects their judgment, and ultimately impacts the rest of their lives.
There is a huge difference in cultures around the world regarding physical touch. In Puerto Rico a couple touches 180+ times during an average two person lunch encounter. I didn't know that was even possible! Americans on the other hand limited themselves to only touching twice within an hour. Your skin hunger may show up as depression, anxiety, irritability, moodiness, and can definitely, make you feel very isolated and lonely.
The saddest commentary you may ever hear was given recently by a psychotherapist lecturing on unrequited skin hunger in youth. It took place in a boy's home for the incorrigible during the psychotherapists training which required actual observation. During the frequent disturbances, several staff would grab an out-of-control boy, attempt to quiet him by holding him down and then forcibly throwing him into a padded cell to let him cool off. When he asked them why they took such drastic actions, the staff replied,"They don't know how to ask for a hug"! These youngsters were severely neglected and received very inadequate nurturing touch during their formative years. In their minds, they were getting the physical contact they craved by poking, hitting and pushing others. They knew that if they escalated an issue, at some point the staff would intervene, grab them and hold them down to control them. It was the closest thing to a hug they could get. And sadly at some level they felt that the padded cell represented the safety of the womb. This was the safest place they had ever known, and acted out repeatedly in order to get back there.
When your touch is returned in a healthy, mature relationship, touch can give a mutual, real and lasting impression of love...far more than words could ever accomplish. We can communicate more love in 5 seconds with touch than we can in 5 minutes with words. Touch has the real ability to deepen relationships. Babies have such skin hunger they die if they don't get it.
Senior women, if you long to hear the words, "I love you," you will be amazed to learn that touching is what will really propel your relationship into the close intimacy you long for. Words are processed only in the thinking part of your brain but touch goes directly to your emotional centers.
A real intimate hug defined: Looking deeply into the other person's eyes as you approach with your arms and palms open. Your chests will touch and the hug will take place slowly, tenderly and warmly with your whole body in an unhurried manner. Encircling the other person with both arms and including touching the sides of your head. Endearing words can add greatly to a real hug, but at times, are not necessary at all.
There is healing power in touch. It's been proven that touch increases good brain activity and can add years to your life as well as boosting your immune system. Touch says; I see you, I notice you, I have your back. It lets people know that they matter enough to us that we desire to spend intimate time with them. Do you think this is exaggerated? Unfortunately, it is not exaggerated at all.
Get over yourself! If you are not a mature woman who likes to hug and touch, you can start hugging and touching even if you weren't raised that way. You can make a decision to do it, and practice for your own benefit, as well as for the benefit of your family and friends. Mature woman, I know you can obtain the relationship of your dreams!
Written by Betty L Nelson
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